Strangers In A Dream
by lostwithoutahome
Summary: So this is my sort of take on Dear Natasha, but it is definitely not the same. Natasha is lying motionless in a hospital and these are the thoughts that they have while they both wait and see what becomes of her. Please leave review so I know what I can do next


It was meant to be a simple mission Nat, get in, get the intel and get out. I waited. I waited for hours before calling it in and even then it was too late. Did you know that I found you? Bleeding on the office room floor. I didn't care for the other two bodies who lay not far from you.

You weren't breathing Nat. Why weren't you breathing?

And now you're here, and you'd probably kill me for seeing you like this. These tubes…they're so unnatural… you're not yourself either Nat. There is no Russian fire in your cheeks or hair, like there always used to. Where had it gone?

Come back to me Nat.

_It's so dark in here, I feel myself slipping off the edge but one thing keeps me here. Clint. The mission I failed. Thank you for saving me. I know what you did wasn't easy. I had never failed before. I want to come home Clint…I can't find you anywhere. Where are you? Where is my Hawk? Why is everything so painless when my heart feels as though its going to burst into a million pieces. _

_I need to see you Clint. _

Nothing changed today…the doctor is saying he doesn't know how much longer you can fight for.

We never talked about this. We never talked about dying but I knew somehow you'd want to go out fighting. Which in a sense, you did. Oh Tasha… if only I could talk to you right now.

_When I was recruited I was taught not to fear death…then again they never expected us to live past 14. But now that I'm all alone in the Black Room, I fear it. I fear it more than I have ever feared anything. Oh Clint…if I could see your face. I can't even recall what it looks like. I'm alone here… there is no one to protect me…no one to tell me that it's all going to be okay. You told me you'd always be there to tell me whatever I needed to know. Where are you now? I can't see…I can't hear anything…please save me. _

I dreamt about us last night…dancing around Stark's apartment… how carefree you were, you didn't give a shit that there were people trying to kill you, you just wanted to dance. And you could dance. Remember….remember the time we danced in the rain? I will always remember it. Not only because I dropped you on your ass…which I continue to apologise for to this day, but because it was the first time I kissed you. Remember that? You were so weak. I was trembling. I think in the end we both knew what was happening.

I visited you today… with a bouquet of roses… it is Valentine's day after all. Nothing much has changed…they say you twitched last night but say that it's nothing but a body spasm. I wish you would open those beautiful eyes of yours and give me an answer.

It's been three months since the mission Tash…why won't you come back to me?

_No matter where I was I knew you were with me. Now I can barely feel anything at all. At times a bright light approaches and then leaves abruptly…and I'm left in this void…helpless and alone. My mind is weaker and I find myself forgetting things. Names…faces… my friends…my family… I can barely remember what you sound like or picture your face. I don't want to stay here anymore Clint. I'm coming home. _

Your vitals picked up today… and I held your hand. That's good I suppose. Are you dreaming Tasha? What are you dreaming about? Probably about something from your past. We all have those dreams. I am scared Tash…so fucking scared that the moment I leave you're going to die. So I'm not leaving…you hear me? I will never leave you again. Just please come home. Come back to me. You know I hate begging. You know what it does to me. Please Tasha, come home.

_I'm running Clint…I can see myself running. I loved to run didn't I? When I was with you? I can't remember much anymore and it hurts. But the further I run the closer I get to your face. I'm not scared anymore. I suppose this is the way I wanted to go… even though I wanted it to be in battle hiding in your arms while you sang. I remember that… the night you sang that song to me… was the first night since Manhattan that I hadn't woken with nightmares. I can see a house on a hill now… the sun is setting just beyond the reach of the mountains. Perhaps I'll rest now. I'll be home soon. _

You moved your hand today. I watched it. I saw it. And then it went dead again. I don't know how much more I can deal with… there's talk of life support… I don't want you on that… you said yourself you'd rather die all alone in a black room than have machines keep you alive. There's nothing Banner can do. Stark is… well Stark… he and Pepper are expecting… just thought you should know that. Thor found some way to come back for Jane…they've gone travelling the world. I haven't told them yet. Steve… he visits every day… god he misses you Tash. No one misses you more than me though. The things I've seen with you… the obstacles you've overcome… I know you can get through this.

_Why can't I see anything? Clint please. Please don't let them hurt me anymore._

I had no say in the matter. You don't look right with everything hooked up to you. Unnatural. I stayed with you today, I held your hand again. Fury tried to send me away but I wouldn't let him. He understands. I've barely slept Tasha… you know what it does to me…makes me think I'm crazy… like Loki is trying to take my mind again. I swear I saw you last night when I went home. You were sitting on our couch… and you smiled. I wished that was real. Maybe one day it will be.

_Clint, things are becoming brighter again, I can hear things, words mainly, and noises that I know I've heard but can't figure out where . I heard my name…and I saw your face. For the first time since waking here, I saw your face. Oh Clint I love you so much. I never wanted this. I never wanted to be here. I want to be with you. I want to be home. And you're the only one I want to be with. I have hope. So should you. _

Things are looking better Tasha, there is colour in your face. It's finally good to see you coming back to me…that is if you remember me. You've been through so much already. I know my heart would break if you didn't remember me, but I'd understand why it's happened. Stark showed up today, no Pepper attached to him. Tash…he cried. Tony Stark – Iron Man- actually cried. Come on Tash… wake up for me.

Clint, I felt your touch today! I felt the warmth of your lips against my hand. Did you feel my response? I smiled today…this light getting brighter I can feel I'm close. Nearly there my love…

Did you feel that Nat? The doc says you're responding to touch in a different way. When I kissed your hand…god Tash…I want so badly to wake you. Tash I want to hear your voice.

Clint! I opened my eyes today…but you weren't there… no body was…what is this thing in my throat? It hurts bad. Please come back.

Come on Tash…

_Hello Clint. I'm home. _


End file.
